Helping Children with Autism cope with Grief
Helping Children with Autism Cope with Grief
Unfortunately, death is something that many children encounter at some stage of their childhood, from a family pet to a loved one. It is a challenging time for parents who must manage their own grief and that of their children. Grief can affect us all in different ways, but is grief different for children with autism? In this blog, we will discuss autism and death and the stages of grief your child might go through.
It can be difficult for some children with autism to process their emotions and feelings, particularly when it comes to grief, which can be a huge change and adjustment. Some children might not understand what has happened, someone who was once a part of their life has disappeared, and this can be upsetting and confusing. Some children may understand but not know quite how to process the news.
Stages of grief common in children with Autism
Grief can impact your child’s behaviour in different ways, and they might go through different stages of grief during a short or extended period. They might express their feelings of grief in different ways than are typically ‘the norm’. For example, they might act excited or fail to acknowledge a death completely or for some time. This is because some autistic people struggle to understand the concept of death and how to behave when someone dies. Grief can be shown by:
- Anger and behavioural difficulties
- A change to their sleeping habits
- A change to their eating habits
- A loss of skills and communication
- An increased need to be with someone or something that makes them feel secure and comfortable
- An increase in sensory needs and meltdowns
how can you help your child through loss and grief?
If possible, you can prepare them for death in advance by talking to them and using social stories and story books. There are also some great videos on YouTube. Preparing them will give them time to process the upcoming change and things that they might notice, such as changes in appearance or medical equipment. Visual aids can also be useful.
Of course, you sadly often can’t prepare for death. It is useful to use direct, concise language and again, communication aids to try and explain to your child in a meaningful way that they will understand. You might need to explain that your child will see people that they know upset, and prepare them for visiting places like the hospital or a funeral. If you think it will be helpful, you could create a photo book or memory box for your child.
Grief is a complicated emotion, and it is difficult for everyone. Let others know that your child is going through grief so that they can be understanding of any changes in behaviour and if you think it will be helpful, speak to your GP about accessing therapy for your child, which can be adapted to meet their understanding and needs.